Category: Stress

How to Write Letters to Resolve Conflict in Relationships

How to Write Letters to Resolve Conflict in Relationships

Reciprocal Letter Writing to Learn Calm Corrective Conversation

Often we get stuck in triggered and heightened communication conflicts and experience the same frustrating and often hurtful interactions that don’t seem to have any resolution. 

You may feel you cannot get through to the other person.  You or someone else gets so angry, upset, overwhelmed or shut down that hearing what the other is saying is not working.  That’s because we all ‘hear and see’ through our own filters or lens. 

These lenses are often set in childhood or past painful relationships. Sometimes it is the way our family communicated, and because the other person learned different ways to communicate from their experiences and wounds, it’s like you are not tuned into the same frequency – like a radio station, the signal sent out needs to be received by a receiver that can tune in. 

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cognitive thinking

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy [CBT]: A Modern Neuroscience Approach

Life Sense Counselling

(incorporating mindfulness, cognitive behaviour therapy, self -compassion and neuroplasticity concepts)

Neuro-education and Principles:

  • Whatever we think about grows and thickens neurological pathways.  In simplest terms think of our neuro networks as green trees or black trees. You can grow and thicken the branches on ‘green trees’ (positivity or neutrality) or ‘black trees’ (negativity) by feeding them with brain proteins. This determines our state of mind.
  • We are thinking all the time – we can intentionally choose what to think to change our neurobiology and redirect thoughts to initially more neutral thoughts and then more positive, accepting or meaningful thoughts.
  • Reflecting and examining  (whether with ourselves or with someone else) takes a negative issue out of the negative neurological pathway (or black tree) and brings it into consciousness and creates a state of neuroplasticity where it becomes malleable and able to be restructured.
  • Just ‘naming it and claiming it’ or speaking something out or over ourselves doesn’t work – we need to examine it to understand and start to believe what we’re saying to change thoughts and self-beliefs.  When we tell ourselves or say things we don’t understand or believe it creates ‘cognitive dissonance’ and reinforces negativity or confused rumination. 

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Coping with Grief and Loss

9 Grief and Loss Types & Stages

Grief is the multifaceted and often overwhelming response that we experience after a distressing or traumatic event. Often, we think of the death of a loved one but many other events can be the cause of experiencing grief and loss and include: 

  • Miscarriage, stillbirth or an infant born with significant health conditions or disability
  • Infertility (including the often-tumultuous IVF journey)
  • Lifestyle or financial loss such as bankruptcy, loss of a house or the loss of a job
  • End of a significant relationship – spouse, friend, pet
  • Serious illness or disease or diagnosis of a loved one that changes life as we know it
  • Loss of physical mobility or independence
  • An incident that violates your security or safety such as an attack or robbery 
  • A significant near-death experience or accident such as a motor vehicle accident or house fire
  • Community events such as environmental disasters such as a cyclone or floods.

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Life Sense Counselling

Mindfulness Practice [Top Tips]

What is Mindfulness?

Whether it is a professional athlete; a rock star, a Mum in her fitness gear or the chilled-out guy who is cultivating an organic veggie patch; everybody seems to be practising mindfulness.  It is not just for Zen Buddhists and yogi masters, and whilst mindfulness is a type of meditation, you don’t need to be an expert to incorporate the principles into your life. 

The reason why so many people are doing it is because it has some solid research to prove its effectiveness as an adjunct to your lifestyle or as part of many mental health interventions. But how do you do mindfulness practice?

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group counselling

10 Psychological Survival Tips for COVID-19

Whether we are facing social distancing, self-isolation, quarantine, or lockdown, these uncertain times can be hard, especially for those who have emotional and mental health concerns and relational difficulties. 

I am also acutely aware that for some people ideas may feel redundant and not remove the very real fear of domestic violence; grief and loss; compromised health or pervasive suicidal tendencies. It is my hope that whilst I can validate your very real concerns, maybe one of these ideas or thoughts may ease the burden even a little.

For the majority, I’m hoping these tips will draw you to seek and find a deeper meaning, sense of purpose and a back-to-basics type of beauty that is worth engaging.  Here are my top 10 psychological survival tips for COVID-19:

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relationship counselling

Epigenetics and Mental Health [Exclusive Case Study]

It May Not Be All In Your Mind

How are Epigenetics and Mental Health linked? Most people would have a fair understanding of genes and what they do, and maybe you know about the changes occurring at all levels of medicine since the mapping of the human genome was completed in 2003,  and the great results arising from the subsequent research (think breast cancer).

Explaining Epigenetics

But in case you have not heard about epigenetics, let’s start with some basics. The prefix ‘epi’ means ‘on top of or added to’ and applies to an addition of some extra molecules to a gene, often called a tag or an SNP (single-nucleotide polymorphism). These SNPs change the way that gene works or expresses itself. Since there are 3 billion genes in an individual and more than one tag can attach to a gene the number of different expressions is huge. 

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How to Write Letters to Resolve Conflict in Relationships

How to Write Letters to Resolve Conflict in Relationships

Reciprocal Letter Writing to Learn Calm Corrective Conversation Often we get stuck in triggered and heightened communication …

What Kind Of Relationship Am I In - Healthy Relationships

What Kind Of Relationship Am I In – Is It Healthy?

If you think about your relationship as a medical metaphor, which one best fits? Sometimes when my clients are stuck and …

Will My Relationship Survive

Will My Relationship Survive?

If you are asking yourself, “Will my relationship survive?”, it is well worth reading these relationship questions. …