What Kind Of Relationship Am I In – Is It Healthy?

If you think about your relationship as a medical metaphor, which one best fits?

Sometimes when my clients are stuck and indecisive about their relationship, whether that is an intimate one, family member, friendship or even a business relationship, I ask a fairly confronting question that encourages them to think outside of the square.  So here it is:

If you think about your relationship as a medical metaphor, which of these is the best fit?:

Wounded

Is wound dressing required? – there is some muck to cleanse and some scarring may still remain, but with good wound management there is a strong chance it will heal well. OR

Surgery 

Surgery is required and you won’t survive without it. Some parts need to be cut away, others added, stitching up needs to be careful and recovery may take a while and will need to be managed carefully. It is worth doing the surgery but it may not have the outcome desired but is it worth the risk. OR

Palliative

Palliative Care is required. Good care and a planned end with as minimum pain and collateral damage is what is needed, with the best outcome being ‘clean pain’ where there is nothing more to do, forgiveness or the ability to let go can occur and what needs to be said and done happens, operating out of the best of yourself. Remorse, guilt, blame, bitterness and unforgiveness can be worked through even though it is the end, but you want to choose a good end. Conversely, dirty pain isn’t really palliative, it becomes the ‘living dead’ and this is where we hang onto all the toxic stuff and it can slowly consume us.

Although a rather jolting metaphor, it really can put things into perspective.  If you sense any unease in examining this concept, I encourage you to make a booking with counsellor Sara Martin, at sara.martin@lifesensecounselling.com.au to unpack what thoughts and feelings arise.